Supporting Infertility Challenges as a Friend
The fleeting technological advancements in medical sciences have rendered a rational outlook busting several myths and taboo culture. The tremendously sensitive medical condition of infertility is no different. For the person, infertility challenges require all-round support, and sometimes a kind and empathetic voice. What’s assured and on the table is that the couple are going through a terrible time, and it is albeit your duty as a friend to support these challenges.
Unfortunately, many people get uncomfortable and nervous over such a sensitive topic and say or do the wrong things.
Here’s a roadmap of the things you absolutely should not say or do, if your near ones or your friend is experiencing infertility:
Annoying with silly questions –
We understand the excitement of finding out if your friend is pregnant but for someone finding it difficult to conceive, asking it again and again will only dampen spirits. And it’s annoying.
Pouring unwanted advice–
There is a lot of unwanted things you could say, but unwanted advice should not be given unless you know the person too well. Sometimes a woman’s desire for a child becomes her life.
Don’t weigh the feeling of motherhood with singlehood –
Ask yourself this, if the couple didn’t want children, why they would go through the trouble in the first place!
Asking financial details of the treatment –
There are certain medical procedures which treat the broken links of a possible motherhood, but they are both costly and delicate. So asking about financial details is absolutely none of your business! Try Google instead.
Infertility, like stress or depression, isn’t psychological –
So, if you think you can comfort your friend by being nice you’re wrong; you might end up hurting her with false myths. It’s best to remind this as a purely medical condition and can improve – which is true.
Adoption advice –
For a couple failing to conceive, adoption might be the next most discussed thing after possible treatment, the better option. But it can never be a match for the happiness of biological parenthood. So such an advice helps no one!
Useless stories –
We all have friends who have a friend who has been in tight situations and come clean. But “When my friend couldn’t get pregnant, all she …” stories? Well, your friend doesn’t need stories of other people. Her efforts to conceive are hers alone.
On the contrary, here’s a list of things you must say and offer during these hard times!
Things You Should Say or Do to Make a Friend Experiencing Infertility Feel Better :
Volunteering for the Doctor’s appointment –
If the partner is not available having a friend to accompany her to appointments can be a welcome support.
Volunteer to listen –
Actually, the best thing you could offer are your listening capabilities. It is important for her to not bottle up inside with the heavy feeling this medical condition presents. The least help would be to find a support group for women who are having similar experiences.
Reminding her it is not her fault –
It is no one’s fault really. Sometimes these things just happen. Medical science is a complicated subject.
You will make a wonderful mother –
Probably the sweetest thing to say but it does require a lot to understand that feeling one goes through. Saying she’s going to make a wonderful mother with spring alive a faith in her. Speak with care.
Say she’s beautiful!
This is particularly important since many women begin to loathe their bodies during infertility treatment, viewing it as dysfunctional or inadequate. Some women also gain weight from the treatments.
Remind her she’s amazing –
No matter what, reminding her that will make her feel better about herself.
A good friend understands what is best. A best friend knows it. No matter what, being there for your near ones during these hard times will mean more than the condition of infertility itself which when pass-on with time, medication and proper medical care and consultation, the smiles will remind one and all that the myths we create harm nobody but us.